Ever since when I was a child, people around me, including my parents have always said that I was too shy. I didn't like talking to strangers (like that was a bad thing anyway). "She'll grow out of it later" is generally the answer given when asked. When I didn't grow out of it the comments turned into criticism. Over the years, those comments didn't stop, not just coming from older generations but my own peers.
So I feel like I should clear some things up, not just for me but also all the other introverts out there. No, introverts does not equal to antisocial people. Rather, we like to be alone with our own thoughts. A lot of the time, large gatherings and social events are very mentally draining for me. But that doesn't mean I can't handle social situations, I can hold a conversation with a stranger perfectly fine, but smalltalk bores and tires me and I feel the need to escape. I like spending time by myself but that doesn't mean I'm lonely. There's nothing more annoying than having someone you know keep bugging you to keep them company because they can't stand spending a few hours alone. You should be responsible for your own happiness.
What's even more ridiculous is that I've been told in the past that if I really tried, I could stop being like this. Like there's this magical button I can press and voila! Social Tian! I prefer to observe and listen, there's a lot to be learned about a person by just listening to them and observing their demeanor. So what if I don't care about where you went on holiday this year, stranger who I probably won't see again for the rest of my life? So what if I don't want to tell you my life story, person who I just met 10 minutes ago, is that so wrong? Even when I'm with my inner circle of friends, there are times when I feel like I've had enough of this and I need to be by myself for a while.
There is no right and wrong to this, it's just what it is. Everybody is different and are free to choose how they live their lives. So for another person to criticize me for being simply how I am is just offensive and ignorant. I can't just perk up because you feel like I'm being boring and needs to be less of a party pooper. A lot of people these days like to get to know everybody for the sake of 'networking', it's like another way of saying "I'm gonna be an acquaintance for now so that when I need you for something I'll contact you ok?". Well what if I just want to spend my time and energy on people who I actually care about and deserves my attention?
So yes, keep judging me for being antisocial and a ice queen, for being different than you are. I'm sorry that I'd rather stay home and do absolutely nothing than go to bs social gatherings that I'm obligated to. No, I'm not depressed or self indulgent. Yes keep telling me that I'll never make it because I don't know how to talk to people 'properly', but you don't know me and you never will. I'm just being me, if that offends you so then maybe you should go and eff off.
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